Remembering

If you ever get my voice-mail you'll hear something that goes like this: "Hi, this is Aubrey, I can't get to the phone right now so leave a message.  Smile and have a great day."  It's been like that for years now.  Some people love it.  Some people, like Mom, tell me it's time to change it.  But the thing is, there's a story behind it.  And the story begins with one of the most remarkable women I've ever known.  Kathleen Briggs.

I first met Sister Briggs when I was thirteen or so and she was serving as my youth leader.  She was one of those women who was educated, beautiful and kind.  She made you feel like you were the most important person in the room and when you spoke to her she made it feel like she had nothing better to do that day than listen to you.

Around the same time she came into my life she was also diagnosed with a vicious form of breast cancer.  It was aggressive and so the doctors attacked it aggressively.  She never complained though.  She always showed up to church with a smile on her face, even if it was a tired smile.  She was in the Young Womens for a majority of my teenage years and during those years she went in and out of remission.  The cancer just wouldn't quit and neither would she.

During those years she taught me a lot.  She taught me how to laugh at myself.  If I was embarrassed by something that had happened at school that day she would share an even more embarrassing story, like when she fell down the grand entrance staircase at BYU while attending a formal or the time the wind blew her wig off while giving a speech outside and everybody started chasing it.

She also taught me to never give up and life wasn't that bad.  How can you complain about teenage woes when you know someone whose fingernails are falling off due to chemotherapy? She was always there even though she held down a full-time job and was very tired by the end of the day. 

I'll never forget the story she told how Audrie had held the door open for her one day after church and she almost wept with gratitude.  She said she was so tired that day that the thought of opening the heavy doors to get out of the church was so overwhelming she just stood there not moving.  I learned that day that simple acts go a long way.

I graduated high school, went to college and got married.  Soon I was back in my home ward and Sister Briggs was now the Stake Relief Society President and I was her visiting teacher.  You could say I was only a little intimidated.  I fumbled through the message, shared my testimony and asked how I could help.  She was going through another round of extremely intensive chemo and informed me that if the cancer didn't kill her the chemo would.  I felt so helpless as I watched her become sicker and sicker.  How was I supposed to serve a woman who had served me for so many years?  Once again she taught me there are many different ways to serve and I found my own way to show her my love and appreciation.

During this time I often called her and often got her answering machine.  Her message went something like "I hope you're smiling and having a great day." 

I'm not sure exactly when I adopted her message but I wanted to spread the same kind of cheer and love she gave to everyone so willingly.  Soon after she moved to be closer to family.  A year or so later I was sitting at my desk, pregnant with Samuel when I received the email.  Kathleen had passed away. 

So, I probably won't ever change my voice-mail.  It's my way of honoring her.  To remember to live my life to the fullest and to smile, because today is a GREAT day.

All About Jacob

Can you believe Jacob will be 3 months old in 4 days?!  Neither can I.

Jacob was born sometime around 7:30am via c-section.  He came out not crying... The doctor reassured me he was fine.  I wasn't completely convinced until I heard that first little wail.  Carlin said he had the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck once.

From day one he was holding up his head.  He's a strong little one.  He's also our little cuddler.  Carlin always wanted a cuddler and he finally got one.  He is still happy when he is cuddled next to Mommy or Daddy and will sit there perfectly still and content.  Neither Samuel or Lillian were like that so we are a little beside ourselves.

Interesting little fact: poor kid had to wear his sister's pajamas those first few days because I couldn't find Samuel's newborn PJs. 

Speaking of differences, he was born with a head-full of dark brown hair and still has it - although it seems to be turning auburn a bit.  He also likes his pacifier which is such a relief.  It's seriously like a mute button!

He doesn't like to be put down much but is getting better as he gets older.  He's especially warming up to the swing. We struggled with nursing so much that we finally elected to switch to formula to lower the stress of the whole family.  We are still trying to figure out his little digestion - he seems to have acid reflux and prefers certain brands of formula (like Similac over Enfamil).

Overall little Jacob is a happy baby.  He has started to smile in response to your smiles and has even started to laugh.  I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE little baby laughs.  They are the best, happiest things in the world. 

He's sleeping through the night right now.  We put him down around 8pm and he wont' wake up till 5 or 6am.  I'm liking that a lot.  Now if I could just get his older sister to sleep through the night, we would be golden...

A little bit on the delivery: Not much to tell.  It was a planned c-section due to previous c-sections.  I had a spinal block and got the shakes a bit but nothing even close to what I had with Lillian.  This time I had extreme itching especially on my face.  It was so bad that by that afternoon my nose swollen and bleeding, my chin and cheeks had scratch marks all over and I had rubbed other patches of skin raw.  Finally a nurse noticed and gave me some Benadryl.  Turned out they had given me morphine to help with the pain and I was having a reaction.  The recovery was horrible and I was pretty convinced I was going to die of the after-contraction pains.

Now we are doing pretty good.  I'm exhausted but things get better every day.  The kids love Jacob and even make up songs about how much they love him.  It goes something like this "Jacob I love you, Jacob I love you, I love you Jacob."  Very original.  Lillian is always showering him with kisses and trying to pick him up and hold him.  Samuel just looks at Jacob and says "Awww, he's so cute."  Sometimes he will let Jacob hold his fingers.

And that's Jacob, our little cuddle-bug.