The Christmas Tree

When it comes to material objects, I am not the sentimental type; a fact Carlin knows all too well. If we wanted to wax philosophical as to the reasons why we could say it was because of the way I was raised. My parents never really kept much of what we made as children. It could also be a result of the time our trailer was stolen during a move which had all of our earthly possessions in it, one of my earliest memories. Whatever the reason, the fact remains I am not sentimental. So when our Christmas tree decided to die this year, Carlin was a bit befuddled by my rather emotional reaction.

We inherited the Christmas tree from my parents a few years ago. This was the tree we had during my teenage years and is probably about 15 years old. It's a tree my Dad meticulously wrapped every single branch with lights, Temple Square-style. (If you've never been to Salt Lake City Temple Square during Christmas time then Google it and then put that image into your living room. Yah...). The tree had so many lights we didn't bother taking them off year-to-year, instead we put the tree away lights and all. It's the tree that I've spent the past five years swearing under my breath as I wrestled with the lights, trying to figure out which strand was burned out then trying to find the single light that needed to be replaced. Every year we have proclaimed it's time for a new tree and every year we've found reasons not to buy one.

Until this year. This year, when plugged in, half of the lights wouldn't turn on. That alone might not have swayed me but then branches started falling off the tree. It was time for me to admit the tree needed to be retired and that's when the emotions came to the surface. Carlin tried to remind me that this was in no way symbolic of my Christmas memories, that I would always have them to treasure and hold. However, he doesn't realize how much Christmas means to me.

As I sat there for over an hour, unraveling all twenty strands of lights from the tree, I also unraveled my years of Christmas memories. Christmas has always been more than just another holiday for me. It's meant way more than presents and food. It's been my constant, dependable event in my life. We moved a lot as a kid and I never had a lot. But Christmas... ah, Christmas was a time for magic. It was a time for miracles.

There was the year we moved the day after Christmas and my parents opted not to get a tree. My brother and I were so disappointed that my Dad made a tree out of paper and taped it to our wall. We made paper ornaments to go along with it and it was as good as the real thing, if not better.

One year we had no money, but that didn't stop my Dad from providing a tree. "Aubrey," he said, "we are going for a walk." On our walk we collected fallen, dead tree branches. When we got home my Dad tied them together, put them in our tree base and strung them with lights. My brother, sister and I picked out the lightest ornaments we had to hang on the tree. Everyone who came to our home that year thought it was so awesome.

Then there was the year my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. My Dad stayed with Mom at the hospital through the night while I stayed home with my siblings. Even though my parents weren't there I made sure to turn on the Christmas lights. Christmas was spent with my Mom recovering from surgery and a year of radiation looming over our heads - but for one day we gathered around the tree and let our worries fall away. That year our friends came out in droves bringing us perhaps one of the best Christmas dinners we've ever had.

Christmas has been a time for family. It's the time we watch Christmas movies, make cookies, sing along to carols, and spend all day playing games. It's silly for me to be so emotional over a tree - I mean, even my own parents have moved on and now have a miniature forest of Christmas trees in their house. But that Christmas tree did represent something for me. No matter what happened in our lives or the economic hardships we went through, Christmas was always there and it was always special. There were lights and decorations and music and always, always the tree.

With One Haircut...

My baby became a toddler!

Seriously, this kid is running full-steam ahead and trying his best to keep up with his older siblings. He gets into EVERYTHING. Colors on floors, doors, walls - pretty much anything he can reach.

His favorite places are wherever Mommy is and so we have a daily routine of reorganizing my cabinets in the bathroom as I get ready. Unfortunately, the kids are in school now and so I have no one to play with him during this time. I didn't realize how much Lilly helped me out until she went to school!

He's not saying much - but has a few words he's working on like "apple" and "bird." However, his favorite words are "uh-oh" and "wow." Actually, I should take that back - he is saying a LOT, you just can't understand but a few words.

So, as he readily moves on to toddler stage I have to accept that my baby is growing up. At least I still have sleep-time where he looks a little younger and more vulnerable.

How are you doing?

I'm doing great - thanks for asking. Actually, it's been a bit hectic around here.

There's the normal stuff. Baby Jacob is quickly turning into a full-fledged toddler complete with eating trash and throwing tantrums.

It seems to take my kids 20 minutes to eat breakfast in the mornings not to mention getting dressed and putting on shoes. As if our morning routine isn't tight enough we have to throw in the complimentary refusal to go to school. This can happen at any point with either child. Sometimes we make it out the door just fine only to decide in the middle of the unloading zone that they don't want to get out of the car and go to school after all. I literally drag the kicking, flailing child out of the car while horns are honking and the Crosswalk Guard is giving me dirty looks.

We had a dentist appointment this week for Samuel and he was quite convinced this meant he did not need to bring his lunch with him. So, after a two-hour appointment and a 20 minute trip back to the school I then realize he never grabbed his lunch. This adds another 20 minutes to my travel time as I run to the house and back to the school.

The tooth fairy came that night and left Samuel a whole 1 dollar bill. I thought that was pretty impressive (even if other kids get $5 for a tooth). After a long night of kids getting up and me putting them back to bed, I finally get up and moving only to discover that Samuel did not want the dollar bill. Nope, instead he tears it up into tiny pieces and throws it in the trash.

He also lost his glasses that day (which I eventually found in the playroom).

Lilly pooped her pants.

And Samuel missed the bus home today.

Just a normal week in our crazy household...

First Day of School!

School started about two weeks ago.

I have a 1st grader and a Preschooler. Crazy!

They were super excited about the first day of school. Lillian has been waiting all year for this moment.

The second day however, Lillian informed me she had already gone to school. So, the past couple of weeks have been one kid or the other fighting it every morning. Sometimes both at the same time. But the love it, even if they don't necessarily want to get up in the mornings. And who can blame them? There are some days I don't want to get up either.

Children's Museum!

The weekend before school started we decided to take the kids to the Jasmine Moran Children's Museum. For those of you in Oklahoma I highly recommend it, at least once. It's worth the trip and everything is hands on.

The kids played in the water works area forever. Seriously. Forever. I think they would have played there all day if we hadn't encouraged moving on to other activities. We sadly, did not get any pictures of them playing with the water. Nor did we get pictures of the really cool rope-bridge-jungle-gym-climby-thing.

We did however get pictures of them being car mechanics.

Samuel was in heaven.

Lillian changed this tire all by herself! We're teaching them young, it's a good skill to have.

Even Jacob tried to change the "fluids."

There was also a construction station with pulleys, blocks, trucks, the whole she-bang. And an art area where Lillian and I made masks. And we can't forget the bubble station. They have it set up so you can pull a bubble over yourself. Once again, no pictures. Hey, when you're chasing three kids around and a husband (haha) you don't have a lot of time for pictures.

There is also a medical station. You can "ride" in an ambulance, learn about the body, prep yourself as a doctor ready for surgery and then perform said surgery.

There is also a huge sandpit designed to look like an archaeological site where you can dig for bones. Or dump sand on each other's head. You know, whatever.

There was also much, much more. Overall it was a fun day and the kids loved it.

 

That Phase!

Jacob can walk. And reach and climb and open things.

Needless to say, we've reached THAT phase. You know the one, where they get into everything?! All you have to do is follow the path of destruction to find the little stinker

At least sometimes he tries to clean up after himself...

 I seriously don't know what I am going to do with this kid!

Ah, Summer

You know those moments when the stars align and everything comes together in one perfect moment? I had one of those moments the other day with the kids and I actually captured it with pictures.

 

Finance: For Kids

Lately, my kid have been asking if they can go to Toys R Us and get some toys. I have no idea where they get this idea. They also ask for toys every time we go to the store. They also think we should go out for ice cream, or sno-cones, or Chik-fil-a or something, pretty much every day.

I told them you have to have money to do those things and they said we did have money and promptly pulled out my debit card from my wallet. Oh brother. I obviously needed to talk to my kids about money.

So, here's what I did:

First, I told them that the debit card only has so much money on it. It's finite, we can't just buy anything we want. I then decided to explain to them what money is and how we get it.

Lesson #1: What is money? I read a couple of books to them, my favorite was All About Money by Erin Roberson. I pulled out change and we went over how much a penny, nickel, dime, quarter and a dollar are worth. Samuel, who is especially fond of all things numbers and math really soaked up this part.

Lesson #2: Where does money come from? I explained that there are two main ways you can get money. A gift: like birthday money. Work: you have to earn it. When Daddy goes to work every day he is earning money so we can pay for all we have.

Lesson #3: What do we spend money on? I explained that we have to pay for certain items first before we can buy fun things like toys. We have to pay for our house, car, food and bills. I then did a little activity with them. I put together a bag that had different items in it, I put play food in it like bread and apples and also french fries and cake, phones, a picture of a house, a regular car, a fancy hot wheels race car, iPad, books, etc. I then wrote on two pieces of paper "Wants" and "Needs." The kids took turns pulling items from the bag and then putting them in the wants pile or the needs pile. We explained to them how healthy food like apples are a need but going out for french fries is a want. They really caught on with this activity.

Lesson #4: Where should their money go to? I explained how Mommy and Daddy take care of all their needs so when they earn and/or receive money we expect them to put it in their piggy banks for savings. If there is a special toy they really want they can save up their money for it, but they still need to put some of their money aside in savings. We also explained tithing at this point.

Lesson #5: How money works. For this concept I read books to show them how you earn and save money. My two favorite that really explained the concepts were: Making Cents by Elizabeth Keeler Robinson and Sluggers Car Wash by Stuart J. Murphy.

At this point we had gone to Toys R Us and I had taken pictures of some of the toys they wanted and the price tags. I also found this sweet Build-A-Brain kit at the library with play money in it.

Lesson #6: You can't have everything you want. I gave them the play money and then told them to choose one of the toys from the pictures. I explained how Lilly could get two toys because her toys were cheaper than Samuel's. I also told them they had to calculate sales tax into their total. They didn't really get the tax thing, but they did get the concept of money and would count out how much they needed.

I did all this over a period of a couple of weeks spending 5-10 minutes on each lesson. I also explain to them about how we spend our money. When we are grocery shopping and they ask for a toy instead of saying "no, we don't have the money" I say "we need to spend our money on groceries so we can eat." They really do understand it much better than I supposed.

I've also started to give them choices so they understand every time we spend our money on one thing it means we can't buy another. For example, I tell them they can pick out one treat from the store or they can buy a Lunchable, but we can't do both. When they ask to go out for ice cream I remind them that that costs money and instead we can make cookies with the items we have in the kitchen. I've realized that if I stop to explain my reasoning behind things they understand and go along with my decisions much better. (Let it be known though that I don't always do this and sometimes no is no, I don't have to explain myself because I am the mother).

We then implemented chores and an allowance system. They've always had chores but no allowance. We agreed on terms together and explained to them that there are certain things they have to do because they are part of a family and they don't get paid for those things. All in all it's proven to be a success.

One more book I liked: The Kids' Money Book by Jamie Kyle McGillian.

Idaho and Back

My sister moved to Rexburg to attend BYU-I. Have I mentioned that? Well she moved there and last week there was a flood in Rexburg and her apartment ended up in four feet of water. She had floating furniture and everything. She was not home at the time and everyone is safe, but not their things. My Mom and I packed up my grandparent's car and drove two days to get to her. She and her five roommates were living in filth. Literally. The apartments had moved them into an empty unit, but dumped all their stuff in a pile that the roommates were sort of going through. But not really, unless it included clothes.

And so I visited my birthplace for the first time since my parents moved when I was two weeks old. And I spent it cleaning dishes, going through flooded-moldy things, packing boxes, and practically dragging my sister to her finals. I spent it stressed to the max because I had left all three kids behind with my husband for the first time ever, because I was inexpressibly tired, because I am no longer twenty and stay up all night socializing. Come to think of it, I didn't exactly do that when I was twenty.

I also spent it drinking in the fresh mountain air, soaking up the view of the temple just a short walk away, sleeping without any kids climbing into my bed, enjoying the generosity of my friend's in-laws, and getting to know my sister and my mom that much better.

Sure, I've been playing catch-up for the past few days. I've been cleaning, regulating ornery children, returning library books, throwing away spoiled food in the fridge, cooking, and getting the house back into order. I have to add here that Carlin cleaned the kitchen before I came home and he HATES cleaning the kitchen but he knew it would make a less-stressed Aubrey. It did and I love him for it.

Jacob keeps trying to eat an old hot dog out of the trash and Samuel and Lillian got into a fight over a puzzle which resulted in a bloody nose for Samuel. I don't wish to be back in Idaho though, because I learned a few things about myself:

1. My Mom and sister have a relationship that I will never have with them and I'm slightly jealous, but I love them and I think they know it.
2. I missed Carlin like crazy. It felt like I had left a piece of me behind, I was seriously incomplete. This both scares and thrills me.
3. I LOVE being a Mom. I love my kids and the craziness they bring to my life. I will take bloody noses and poopy diapers any day over roommate drama.
4. I'm still that independent, self-sufficient girl (even with #'s 2 and 3). I managed to get myself, my Mom and my sister back to Oklahoma. I might have been turned around a bit in Rexburg, but I can still read a map.
5. Lastly, I miss the mountains. So, I've decided I am moving my family to Colorado. You're welcome to join me.

A few thoughts on Motherhood

If you're not interested in reading about all the sordid details of Motherhood then stop here, because I have a few thoughts jumbling around in my head that I would like to share. I've been reading articles and seeing discussions on Facebook lately (occasionally I get sucked into the black-hole that is Facebook) about motherhood and wow! There is a lot out there and it seems to be a major battle being fought between women right now.  I try to remain blissfully ignorant of it all because Motherhood is hard enough without the thousands of opinions of women out there, not to mention the media portrayals and experts who think their way is the best way. So, here is my two cents to add to the barrage of opinions out there.

First to new Moms and Moms of one child: You might feel judged, especially by those of us with more than one kid. But the truth is, we aren't judging you. At least no more than you are judging us. We might look at your over-prepared diaper bag and chuckle to ourselves a bit or listen to how you've conquered bed-time and say "ah, that's cute." It might feel like we are laughing at you, but what we are really doing is remembering our first time through having a baby too. Remember how your world was literally turned upside-down after you had your baby? Labor and delivery wasn't anything you pictured, you were worried about the number of times your baby pooped each day, you were sleep-deprived and you were trying to figure out the whole nursing thing while your friends and family gathered around you and the baby. Not to mention the acute pain of post-partum recovery, the fact you hadn't showered in days and how you have to re-learn how to do everything with a baby in hand. And I mean everything - from navigating the grocery store to cleaning your house.

Remember that?

Well, here's the real truth: It that happens EVERY time you have a child. In some ways it really, truly is much easier because you kind of know what to expect this time. But really, delivery doesn't go the exact same way, you might get clogged-milk ducts this time or your second won't latch properly, the sleep deprivation is there again, but this time you can't sleep when the baby sleeps because you have a second child running around. And once again you have to re-learn how to do everything - this time with two or three or six kids. This time instead of being worried whether or not you packed the diaper bag you are worried about which kid to put in the car first and how to hold a baby carrier with one hand and keep your toddler from running through the parking lot with the other hand. So, one worry replaces another one and the cycle continues.

We aren't laughing at you, if anything we are a little jealous that you can sit there and hold your baby and not worry about what your toddler is getting into in the next room.

Second, to working moms versus stay-home moms. Can we all agree that being a Mom is hard? It doesn't matter if you work or don't work, you still have to be a Mom. But here are a few thoughts from a stay-home Mom: We are literally with our kids for 24 hours a day 7 days a week. We don't get a break, we don't get to come home from the office and kick off our shoes and play with our kids. So, when we ask to have a girls night we don't want our children involved - because quite frankly we've had enough of them. That might sound harsh, but it's true. I admire the women who work and be a Mom - it takes a lot of courage, strength and energy. A LOT of energy. The thing is whether you are working or not, all of us feel like we fall short at the end of the day. Working-moms might wish they had more time with their kids and stay-home Moms wish they could have less time with their kids and we both feel guilty for those things. Can we all agree to not push our guilt on the other person and instead just offer love and support?

Third, discipline. Discipline is hard and everyone has an opinion and everyone will tell you what to do or that you are doing it wrong. You have to figure out what you and your spouse are comfortable with - if the cry-it-out technique at bedtime leaves you in tears and makes you feel like the worse person EVER, then don't do it. However, do remember that there will be times you have to make a tough decision and stick with it. The key is consistency. Whatever parenting-style you choose you have to be consistent with your children, otherwise they will know they can push the boundaries. 



Lastly, you have to learn to laugh. Laughing is the only way to get through it. My oldest is six now and everyone tells me it gets better but I'm still not quite convinced. The thing is I've learned to laugh. My kids do crazy things - and I mean crazy. They dump flour all over the floor, stick toys in their mouth, wonder how gravity works by throwing things off the stairs, fight with each other, pick-on each other, and push my patience as far as they possibly can. Laughing is how I get through it all. Sometimes the laughter doesn't come until much later, but eventually it does come. I can beat myself up thinking I'm the worse parent in the world because my daughter thought it was fun to play with her poop while potty-training, or I can laugh at the pure looks of disgust people give me when a story is told. Also, comes the looks of relief I get from other parents when they realize their children aren't that weird after all, at some point every child plays with poop.

Summer Adventures: Mt Scott

We've been keeping ourselves busy this summer, exploring the natural beauty of Oklahoma. For Memorial Day we went to Chickasaw National Recreation area and hiked around the Little Niagras (which was bone dry), explored Buffalo Springs (also dry), found Lost Cave Falls (also dry), and looked for a woodpecker.

There were no pictures from that outing. But then we went to the Wichita Mountain Wildlife Refuge and there we found a true hidden gem of Oklahoma.

That says 2,465.3 feet. Officially a mountain. :)

First, we drove to the top of Mt. Scott. Yep, drove. To the very top.

And then played around on the rocks and let the kids explore. And let me tell you, they LOVED it. Samuel was so excited to be on top of a mountain.

They thought they were on top of the world!

Lilly doing a plie. And despite what it looks like, Samuel was not falling off the side of the mountain.

Then we drove into the refuge itself. We found tons of wildlife. Longhorn cattle, lizards, birds, and groundhogs.

The kids loved the groundhogs.

This was one of my favorite lizards we found.

We hiked up to the Jed Johnson Tower. It was a mile total - perfect for our little hikers and the first real hike we've really taken them on.

Overall it was a fun trip that the kids still talk about. We have a big ol' list of other places we want to explore including Robber's Cave and the Great Salt Plains.

Firsts

We (and by we I mean my SIL Samantha) also cut Jacob's hair for the first time. Ever. I might have cried.

 He's just so grown-up looking now.

It was a weekend of firsts for us last week. Lillian had her first ballet recital. Not only was it my first ballet recital but I somehow managed to be a dressing room Mom for seven 3-4 year olds. Let's just say someone else can volunteer next year. Ha!

Aunt Heather, Uncle Mitchell and Grandma & Grandpa H. came. (Never got a picture with my Mom and Dad - really, we were lucky to get the pictures we did).

Samuel also got a haircut this past weekend...

Samuel came too and did surprisingly well, was just as patient (if not more so) than my parents. :)

I kind of like being a dance-Mom, although my competitive nature is coming out...

Jacob is 1!

Jacob turned 1 last week!  I know, I can't believe it either.

We had extended family party first at a park.

Jacob loved it.

Especially the cake.

On his actual birthday we had a quiet family dinner with all of his favorite finger foods: chicken nuggets, strawberries, mac & cheese...

And of course, a small cake to top it off.

Samuel wouldn't give me a nice picture to save his life, so this is the best I got of them.

Happy Birthday to my little Jacob. You are such a precious little boy who makes the world a better place just by being here. I love you.