30 Days

"Anyone can do anything for 30 days, right?!" said the drop-dead gorgeous lady, who was perfectly put together and looked like she hadn't had to try at anything her entire life. I raised my eyebrows. I wish I could say I raised one eyebrow in skepticism but despite all my efforts I do not possess that capability, so both eyebrows went up. I was at an Arbonne event and I was listening to a spill on their 30 Day Cleanse. How did I end up here? I received an invitation from a friend whom I hadn't seen in a long while and so I went purely to talk to her. And to get out of the house.

All of my walls had gone up the minute I walked into the room. I hate being sold over-priced products with about the same quality as the no-name brand (and much cheaper). To top it all off they were talking about protein shakes. Protein shakes! Can we say "ew!" Seriously, the fad with protein shakes had made me thinking everybody had completely gone nuts - was I the only person left in my circle of friends who liked to eat? I mean, yes I wanted to lose weight, but I wasn't willing to starve myself drinking disgusting, powdery shakes every day. Remember Slim Fasts? I had tried those out in college (not to lose weight, but to help me with my nutrition intake) and all they had done was make me gag and then be sick afterwards.

I sat there and listened to the presentation. The longer I listened the more I felt myself nodding, paying attention and saying "yes! yes!" in my head. Not aloud, that would be embarrassing. The first thing I liked was that the shakes were vegan. Yep, you read that right, vegan. This was important to me for two reasons, one, I have found that I am lactose intolerant. Two, I had watched Forks Over Knives and it had changed the way I thought about food completely. If you haven't seen it you should watch it. Right now. I'll wait.

Oh and while you watch that go ahead and watch I.O.U.S.A. - that will change the way you think about the economy and money.

Alright, now that you've watched it you see why this was so important to me. In fact, it had been over a year since I had seen that documentary and I had been researching the heck out of everything. Why? Because I was 30 and I was falling apart. I had been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia (you can read about that here) and despite all my efforts to eat better, exercise, go to bed early and drink water upside down while holding my breath - or is that for hiccups? - I wasn't getting any better. I couldn't be the Mom I wanted to be or the wife I wanted to be. I could barely exist on most days.

So there I was, in the middle of February, praying for a speedy end to winter (cold makes me hurt worse) and listening to Arbonne's nutrition plan and I suddenly thought, "why not?" I was desperate to try anything and I figured it couldn't hurt.

Those first few days of the "cleanse" was awful. The shakes weren't filling me up and I wanted to eat. Real food. I wanted to chew and swallow, not just swallow, but I had committed and I don't go back on my commitments, especially when I've invested money in it. I stuck it with it and in the second week I started to notice a difference. My afternoon sugar cravings had gone down drastically, I was starting to feel full faster, and I had a bit more energy. Carlin had even noticed a difference. I wasn't complaining as much and seemed overall happier.

Fast forward a month. Suddenly I've agreed to become an Independent Consultant. I've had such success with it and I want to share it with others (and get a sweet discount). Now it's been a couple of more months and as my kids say, I don't like it... I LOVE it. I love every moment of it and I've been able to meet such beautiful, uplifting women. And that drop-dead gorgeous lady from the beginning? She's been my biggest support and best example.

I could go on about what I love about Arbonne and all the great things it's done for me (did I mention my face has completely cleared up - yah, they have a whole skincare line as well), but for that you'll just have to ask me. Until then, I agree, anyone can do anything for 30 days. Oh and their products are all great quality and deliver on their promises.

4 of the Drop-dead gorgeous ladies I get to work with!

8 Years!

I've become quite the nostalgic, sentimental person lately. For example, my firstborn, the boy who made me a Mother, turned eight! EIGHT! This is a big deal people. In our faith, children are baptized at the age of 8, the age we believe they reach accountability. And it feels like my little boy isn't my little boy anymore.

It seems like yesterday I was staring at the pregnancy test trying to determine if that was a positive sign and what did that mean again...? Funny how peeing on a stick can change your whole life. Everyone told me how it was about to change, but it is just one of those things you don't know until you experience.

Playing pin the Lego head for his birthday party

Samuel has given us a run for our money in ways we never dreamed of and has been the best decision we ever made. Words can't describe what I feel for this boy of mine. The things I've learned from him, the ways I've grown as a person and the fact that I have had to learn this whole mothering thing.

He's growing up so fast and I just want to push the pause button. Since that hasn't been invented yet, we will go with the next best thing, capturing this moment, here and now.

Starting at the left: Layal, Jacob, Lilly, Samuel, Hannah, Sean, Eli, Ondrej, Taylor, Kennady

Favorite show: Odd Squad
Favorite color: all of them
Favorite primary hymn: I Love to See the Temple
Favorite foods: Pepperoni pizza, strawberries, carrots and chocolate cake
Favorite song: (since he just grunted at me I will guess this one) Everything is Awesome and What Does the Fox Say
Best Friend: Lilly and Tyler and Noah
Favorite thing to do: play Legos and Pokemon and make comics
What does he want to be when he grows up? An artist and a paleontologist (he wants to draw the dinosaurs he discovers)

Fanning out his candle... because it's better than blowing it out.

Doing Something Right

The house is a wreck. There are toys everywhere you step. The kitchen sink still has last night's dishes in it. The counters are a mess because I keep making more food without cleaning first.

Samuel lost his glasses... again. He woke up with a migraine this morning threatening to throw-up. He stayed home from school. Both Samuel and Lilly are sniffling and coughing due to allergies. Ah, spring.

It's 4:15 and I haven't showered yet - everything has been start and stop today. Jacob has had his third juice box, little stinker. It's just one of those days where nothing seems to work for me and I'm about ready to throw my hands up in the air and call it a day.

But then I find all three kids playing quietly together. Playing with the toys that are everywhere. They aren't watching TV or playing on the iPad or getting into general mischievousness. They are simply playing and encouraging each other.

That's when I feel that warmth in my heart and a smile bubbling on my face. It tells me that despite all my failings, I must be doing SOMETHING right. 

Autism: What You Don't See

Samuel was diagnosed with Autism about a year and a half ago. Since then we've had many comments and advice - but the main comment we get is "he doesn't look autistic." He is very high functioning but that doesn't mean he's not Autistic. I thought I would give you a sneak peek "behind the scenes" so to speak.

What You See: He makes great eye contact and communicates really well.
What You Don't See: 5.5 years of speech therapy. At the beginning we were receiving services 3-4 times per week, it included two 1-hour speech therapy sessions plus a special preschool twice a week for 2.5 hours. It included a listening technique in which he had to look at our faces to show us he was listening. We would say things like "look at my eyes" or "look at my lips" so we knew he was listening and it would also help him focus on our words. We practice conversation skills at dinner time in which he has to ask other members of the family how their day went. We still receive speech services working on things like expressive speech and idioms. We listen for sounds and language. I never knew there was a difference between speech and language until we began this journey so many years ago.

What You See: He is able to self-regulate rather well
What You Don't See: Once again the years of occupational therapy. The brushing, pressure points, weighted compression vests, rubber pieces attached to the end of pencils for him to chew on, suckers and noise-canceling headphones.

What You See: Me leaving a play date early, our family not attending an activity or our quick exit for no apparent reason.
What You Don't See: The signs of an approaching meltdown. What seems like an age-appropriate reaction to another child (a slight shove, taking a toy, etc) is actually the signs of losing control. Covering his ears, hyper-activity, or curling up into a ball might all seem slightly cute and endearing but for me it means it's coming. The screaming, hitting, body-checking meltdown. Sometimes we've had a very trying day/week and we know if we attend activity A it will push him to his limits and it's just not worth it.

What You See: A kid who is potty trained.
What You Don't See: The YEARS, literally, it took to potty train him. The fact that he wasn't fully potty-trained until he was almost 5. The fact that he still has enough accidents I send an extra change of clothes to school with him every day. How I have to continually remind him to use the bathroom and how the first thing I find when I go somewhere new is the public restroom. How I still won't go to parks or other areas that do not have easy access to a bathroom.

What You See: A child who is obedient, but whose mother seems to bribe him a lot.
What You Don't See: The logic of an autistic child - they need to know why to do something before they do it. They need a reason. We have a positive reinforcement system set up - when his behavior is good he earns a star. Usually around 5 stars he receives a small prize. Sometimes, he can earn bigger prizes like a new Lego set with 100 stars. We also have a red/green system. If he is on Red then he loses privileges, TV time, iPad time, toys, treats, whatever might entice him that day. You'll often hear me say "2nd warning." That means if I have to remind him again he goes on red and loses all privileges until he earns his way back to green. Not to mention the hours of behavioral therapy we attend.

What You See: He's rather successful in school.
What You Don't See: He's repeating the first grade, we moved to a school with an autism program set up to handle him better, and an IEP pages long (not to mention the countless hours in meetings). Academically he is doing great but socially he is behind even though he is doing much, much better this year.

What You See: A child who acts fine for you.
What You Don't See: The let-down that follows at home. Picking on siblings, controlling behavior, his alone-space. The resetting we have to do to get him back on a routine, get him back to normal.

What You See: A messy house, hair that needs to brushed, kids wearing clothes with holes in them.
What You Don't See: The countless hours I spend each week in therapies and routines. The exhaustion that comes with handling an autistic child plus two rather strong personalities. The battles you have to pick to fight because honestly, if his Tuesday shirt is long-sleeves in the middle of summer and it doesn't bother him, why should it bother me?

Then Life Happened...

Hello Dear Friends. It's been a long time. It's amazing how busy life gets with three little ones underfoot and making sudden life decisions. Where do I start? So much happened in 2015 that I have felt intimidated and overwhelmed to come back and write, but I need to write. I long to write.

I'll just start with an overview of the year. Consider it my Christmas newsletter. In March I turned the big 3-0. Carlin threw me a party complete with a rented frozen yogurt machine from Earth Fruits. It was pretty awesome. However, the really BIG part of my birthday came almost a month later when best friend Whitney and I headed to Cozumel for a week-long girl's trip. It was amazing. It was my first time out of the country, my first time snorkeling and my first time to get burned to a crisp, several times. But it was all worth it. We sat on the beach, snorkeled and I saw a seahorse, had ceviches and marquesitas, explored the ruins of Tulum and enjoyed some well-deserved girlfriend time. I came back relaxed and ready to tackle life again.

Which was a good thing because I hit the ground running. Jacob turned 2 on May 6 and to celebrate a tornado hit our house. It was mild damage and everyone was safe but we had to replace windows and the roof plus clean up fallen branches and debris all over. Our air conditioner also broke, turned out when the heater guys replaced our furnace they cracked the drainage pan for the air conditioner. They claimed it was old and about to go anyway and refused to fix it. So that was one more thing out of our budget. So, to recap for 2015 we had to replace: the furnace, air conditioner, roof and windows of our house. Needless to say we were strapped for cash by the time it was all done. Then our car decided to die - needed a new alternator, batttery, belt and something else.

All of this combined with a struggle to convince the elementary school that Samuel needed services specific to autism resulted in a rather hasty decision to sale our home. It had been something we had been playing around with as we were starting to outgrow our house and wanted a better location. By the end of May Carlin had had enough and we put it on the market. We immediately found a house we LOVED but couldn't buy it until we sold our house. Turns out, we knew the owners of the house and they agreed to give us the summer to sale our home. Three months and some Realtor drama later and we got an offer on our house, asking price. After a ton of delays and living out of suitcases for a week (with school in session) we finally made it into our new house.

While all of the packing and house showing went on we also celebrated Samuel's 7th birthday by taking him to Legoland in Dallas and catching up with some friends of ours who had moved earlier in the year. Samuel loved it. There was an anniversary, Carlin's birthday, a trip to the Salt Plains to dig for crystals and our annual Watermelon Festival trip. All in all it was a great summer.

Fall took off at a full sprint and we never slowed down. I attended one of the easiest IEP meetings I've ever had - they met all my requests plus made some additional suggestions. Samuel and Lilly love their new school. We moved into our new house at the end of September and have enjoyed the park, the duck pond and our mini-park in our back yard complete with a fire pit in which we've roasted hot dogs and marshmallows. For Halloween we had a Storm Trooper, Elsa and Curious George. We hosted Thanksgiving and Christmas for our families and I made my first ever turkey.

We also had some tragedy hit when we were present at the OSU Homecoming Parade when a woman decided to drive her car into the crowd of hundreds. 4 people were killed and almost 50 others injured. We had stepped off the street moments before it happened, however, my former boss and friend Bonnie Stone and her husband Marv were killed at the scene of the accident.

2015 was draining for us, emotionally, physically and financially. All of that was just the big stuff. We also had our day-to-day living to do. I'm Relief Society secretary, Carlin is chorister and Elder's quorum teacher. Jacob while not in the spotlight much is keeping up with his siblings and has done everything from dump an entire bottle of baby powder on himself to TPig my house and digging holes into our walls. Needless to say I'm a bit exhausted. And that's why I haven't visited my blog in so long. It's just been crazy. But I need this outlet once more, so if you're still out there reading this somewhere I promise, I'm back.

Rough Times

You know how you go through periods in your life where the road is just a bit bumpy? It’s not any one thing in particular, in fact sometimes the road is smooth sailing, but overall, when everything adds up the ride was just a bit rough. That’s where we’ve been in our family.

The past few years have been bumpy. There are the obvious – young kids means lots of stops along the way. And we’ve had lots of unexpected detours. Therapies, dentists, doctors, surgeries, potty training, messes, worrying, more potty training, laundry, IEP meetings, teachers, enrollment, ballet, gymnastics, and more.

Friends keep moving. We live in a college town so we expect the annual turnover, but it’s getting harder every year to say good-bye to one more set of friends. I’ve had to say good-bye to Laura, Dawn, Sharon, Marie, Jenny (twice), Rebekah, Brandielle, Kathleen, Rachelle, Hilary, Stephanee, Corene, Stacy, Jenny (a different one), Joellen, Sarah, Karen, Marijke, Bonnie, Candace, Julia, Lisa, Nina, Candice, Teresa, Cindy, Erica and I’m sure there are a few I’m missing. Not to mention their husbands and children.

There have been tears and laughter and stress. A lot of stress. There have been beautiful moments and moments I wish I could go back to college where my only worries were grades and paychecks.  I type this in a cold house because the heat exchange in our furnace cracked and we’ve been without heat for the past three days. If that doesn’t sound too bad just realize we were this close to being the family on the news that never woke-up due to carbon monoxide poisoning.  For once I was grateful for a leaky, inefficient home and following a prompting that we needed to get our heater serviced. In March.

So, now we have to dish out more money to replace the furnace. Money – it just keeps slipping through our fingers like sand. Why does it cost so much to live? I wrap this up while watching freezing rain bounce off the sidewalks and stuck in the house with children home from school because of a “snow” day. The morning has been full of screaming, tantrums, poop, art projects and finding Jacob covered in my brand new $12 foundation.

The future is bright though… and warmer. Much warmer. I hope to have pictures soon but first I need to find our camera charger.

Public Bathrooms

Nobody really likes public bathrooms, right? Right. However, being a mother of young children I really despise public bathrooms for so many, many reasons.

I swear to you now, my kids do the most disgusting, horrifying, embarrassing things you can think of in a public bathroom. From unrolling toilet paper as fast as their little hands and feet will carry them to wandering out of the bathroom with their pants around their ankles because they need you to wipe them (no matter that they insisted they could do it themselves and didn't need you in there in the first place).

I thought I had about seen it all until I braved the bathroom at Target with Jacob. Jacob, the one who has figured out how to unlock the stall doors, and instead of crawling on the disgusting germ-clad floor like a normal child, insists he goes out the normal way.

So, there we were - me trying to use the bathroom as fast as possible while keeping the door closed and Jacob trying to get out. In a split second he managed to open the door and wedge himself between the stall and the door while I try to desperately close it. Except I can't because I literally have a child in the way, who starts yelling at the top of his lungs because he's stuck. As if I needed any more attention than I currently had.

I pushed him out. I was desperate and there were people in the bathroom. So, I just shoved him out of the stall completely, closed the door and finished my business.

But honestly, I don't have much shame left. Three pregnancies and three rather active children do that to you. However, I really, really look forward to the time when I can use the bathroom by myself.

A Letter to My Lillian

Dear Lilly,

I want you to know something very, very important. I love you. I love you with my whole heart and soul. I love everything about you and there will come a time in your future where you might not believe me. But I do, oh how I do. I love your laugh - your beautiful, from-the-belly, genuine laugh. I love the way you love your brothers. I mean, really, truly love them. You always have time for Jacob and you have a loyalty to Samuel that God himself couldn't break - that is if He even wanted to...

Of course, it is easy to love the sweet part of you. The part that wants me to read books to you and make up songs for me. That part is always easy to love, but I want you to know that what makes you so special, what makes me feel like a piece of my heart is walking around in this huge world, is the not-so-sweet part.

Elsa came to your birthday party!

Oh my Lillian, you have a fierce, independent spirit. You scream and hit and kick. There are many days when we find ourselves in a battle of wills - one stubborn temper pitted against another. And you're only five. I can only imagine what the future holds for us. That is why I want you to know how very much I love you. ALL of YOU. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

You have wanted a play date with Elsa since.

You love, laugh and dance with your whole heart. You also fight, argue and pout with you whole heart. It's what makes you, you. I will take the hitting, screaming Lilly every day if it means I get to have the hugging, kissing, sweet Lilly, even for a little bit. You are beautiful my sweet child and while this letter may not make much sense to you for a while, there will come a day when you will read this and understand what I am fumbling to say.

That I love you only the way a Mother can.

Happy Birthday to my beautiful five year old - I am excited to see what this year holds for you.

Love you always.
Mommy

Don't judge - I kept closing my eyes!

With Cadence, Elsa, Emily, Lilly and Sally

Dear Future Self,

I am quite excited to become a Grandma. Yes I know it's about 20 years in the future, but still I'm excited. However, there are some things I want to remember about having young children for the future. Things that have been said to me over the past 6.5 years that have made me realize it's quite easy to forget this very brief period in time with young kids. So, future self, to answer your questions:

Yes, you did gain that much weight with each pregnancy. Actually, you probably gained more - on average you gained 50 pounds with each pregnancy. Your third child has been the hardest to lose the weight. Something about getting older. Or compulsively eating chocolate, you decide.

Yes, your house was a disaster zone. Toys multiply and replenish the earth. Potty training makes your house smell, quite frankly, like a Port-a-potty and even though you swore it would never happen, yes you have found dirty underwear in the kitchen. It was gross. The fact is kids come messy - they pee and poop and blow their noses and wipe their hands on your clothes. You have to teach them to be clean and it is a long and arduous process. Most of the time you would rather take the kids to the park than clean the playroom. Again. You would rather read than do the dishes. It's give and take.

Yes, your kids were that active. They just get into everything. And even though Jacob is your last and you've grown used to it by now, it doesn't mean he's any better. Heck no, that kid is constantly moving, climbing and pulling things out of cabinets. He is such a mover that on the exact same day he had hernia surgery he climbed the shelves in your closet (and to clarify this was after we got home from the hospital).

Holy cow your kids are loud! Pretty sure if there were a Guinness World Record of loudness from three kids your kids would win, hands down. It's constant noise. Noise and movement.

Yes, embarrassing things happen in public. All. The. Time. You get dirty stares from strangers who are quite convinced they could do a better job parenting your children than you do. You have abandoned an entire cart-full of groceries IN the check-out line because you just couldn't do it anymore.

You let your kids dress themselves and Lillian, especially, often looks homeless. It's not worth the battle and you allow your kids this freedom of expression. No, you do not brush Lilly's hair everyday or clip fingernails regularly. You are also awful at bath time. Being a Mom is just so exhausting sometimes.

You give your kids candy, have reasoned in your mind (on occasion) that oatmeal cookies make a balanced breakfast and really do let your kids have chocolate chips, pretzels and marshmallows as an after school treat. Don't be fooled into thinking you gave your kids healthy, balanced meals every single day.

Just remember that looking back on the past you will remember all the good times and wonderful events that happened. You might forget how busy you were running kids to appointments and ballet and gymnastics. You might forget how hard it was to be a Mom and how much you beat yourself up about all things you are lacking. Remember that there were days you were very sensitive to comments from others and someone telling you it was all going to be okay was all you needed.

The Christmas Tree

When it comes to material objects, I am not the sentimental type; a fact Carlin knows all too well. If we wanted to wax philosophical as to the reasons why we could say it was because of the way I was raised. My parents never really kept much of what we made as children. It could also be a result of the time our trailer was stolen during a move which had all of our earthly possessions in it, one of my earliest memories. Whatever the reason, the fact remains I am not sentimental. So when our Christmas tree decided to die this year, Carlin was a bit befuddled by my rather emotional reaction.

We inherited the Christmas tree from my parents a few years ago. This was the tree we had during my teenage years and is probably about 15 years old. It's a tree my Dad meticulously wrapped every single branch with lights, Temple Square-style. (If you've never been to Salt Lake City Temple Square during Christmas time then Google it and then put that image into your living room. Yah...). The tree had so many lights we didn't bother taking them off year-to-year, instead we put the tree away lights and all. It's the tree that I've spent the past five years swearing under my breath as I wrestled with the lights, trying to figure out which strand was burned out then trying to find the single light that needed to be replaced. Every year we have proclaimed it's time for a new tree and every year we've found reasons not to buy one.

Until this year. This year, when plugged in, half of the lights wouldn't turn on. That alone might not have swayed me but then branches started falling off the tree. It was time for me to admit the tree needed to be retired and that's when the emotions came to the surface. Carlin tried to remind me that this was in no way symbolic of my Christmas memories, that I would always have them to treasure and hold. However, he doesn't realize how much Christmas means to me.

As I sat there for over an hour, unraveling all twenty strands of lights from the tree, I also unraveled my years of Christmas memories. Christmas has always been more than just another holiday for me. It's meant way more than presents and food. It's been my constant, dependable event in my life. We moved a lot as a kid and I never had a lot. But Christmas... ah, Christmas was a time for magic. It was a time for miracles.

There was the year we moved the day after Christmas and my parents opted not to get a tree. My brother and I were so disappointed that my Dad made a tree out of paper and taped it to our wall. We made paper ornaments to go along with it and it was as good as the real thing, if not better.

One year we had no money, but that didn't stop my Dad from providing a tree. "Aubrey," he said, "we are going for a walk." On our walk we collected fallen, dead tree branches. When we got home my Dad tied them together, put them in our tree base and strung them with lights. My brother, sister and I picked out the lightest ornaments we had to hang on the tree. Everyone who came to our home that year thought it was so awesome.

Then there was the year my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. My Dad stayed with Mom at the hospital through the night while I stayed home with my siblings. Even though my parents weren't there I made sure to turn on the Christmas lights. Christmas was spent with my Mom recovering from surgery and a year of radiation looming over our heads - but for one day we gathered around the tree and let our worries fall away. That year our friends came out in droves bringing us perhaps one of the best Christmas dinners we've ever had.

Christmas has been a time for family. It's the time we watch Christmas movies, make cookies, sing along to carols, and spend all day playing games. It's silly for me to be so emotional over a tree - I mean, even my own parents have moved on and now have a miniature forest of Christmas trees in their house. But that Christmas tree did represent something for me. No matter what happened in our lives or the economic hardships we went through, Christmas was always there and it was always special. There were lights and decorations and music and always, always the tree.

With One Haircut...

My baby became a toddler!

Seriously, this kid is running full-steam ahead and trying his best to keep up with his older siblings. He gets into EVERYTHING. Colors on floors, doors, walls - pretty much anything he can reach.

His favorite places are wherever Mommy is and so we have a daily routine of reorganizing my cabinets in the bathroom as I get ready. Unfortunately, the kids are in school now and so I have no one to play with him during this time. I didn't realize how much Lilly helped me out until she went to school!

He's not saying much - but has a few words he's working on like "apple" and "bird." However, his favorite words are "uh-oh" and "wow." Actually, I should take that back - he is saying a LOT, you just can't understand but a few words.

So, as he readily moves on to toddler stage I have to accept that my baby is growing up. At least I still have sleep-time where he looks a little younger and more vulnerable.

How are you doing?

I'm doing great - thanks for asking. Actually, it's been a bit hectic around here.

There's the normal stuff. Baby Jacob is quickly turning into a full-fledged toddler complete with eating trash and throwing tantrums.

It seems to take my kids 20 minutes to eat breakfast in the mornings not to mention getting dressed and putting on shoes. As if our morning routine isn't tight enough we have to throw in the complimentary refusal to go to school. This can happen at any point with either child. Sometimes we make it out the door just fine only to decide in the middle of the unloading zone that they don't want to get out of the car and go to school after all. I literally drag the kicking, flailing child out of the car while horns are honking and the Crosswalk Guard is giving me dirty looks.

We had a dentist appointment this week for Samuel and he was quite convinced this meant he did not need to bring his lunch with him. So, after a two-hour appointment and a 20 minute trip back to the school I then realize he never grabbed his lunch. This adds another 20 minutes to my travel time as I run to the house and back to the school.

The tooth fairy came that night and left Samuel a whole 1 dollar bill. I thought that was pretty impressive (even if other kids get $5 for a tooth). After a long night of kids getting up and me putting them back to bed, I finally get up and moving only to discover that Samuel did not want the dollar bill. Nope, instead he tears it up into tiny pieces and throws it in the trash.

He also lost his glasses that day (which I eventually found in the playroom).

Lilly pooped her pants.

And Samuel missed the bus home today.

Just a normal week in our crazy household...

First Day of School!

School started about two weeks ago.

I have a 1st grader and a Preschooler. Crazy!

They were super excited about the first day of school. Lillian has been waiting all year for this moment.

The second day however, Lillian informed me she had already gone to school. So, the past couple of weeks have been one kid or the other fighting it every morning. Sometimes both at the same time. But the love it, even if they don't necessarily want to get up in the mornings. And who can blame them? There are some days I don't want to get up either.

Children's Museum!

The weekend before school started we decided to take the kids to the Jasmine Moran Children's Museum. For those of you in Oklahoma I highly recommend it, at least once. It's worth the trip and everything is hands on.

The kids played in the water works area forever. Seriously. Forever. I think they would have played there all day if we hadn't encouraged moving on to other activities. We sadly, did not get any pictures of them playing with the water. Nor did we get pictures of the really cool rope-bridge-jungle-gym-climby-thing.

We did however get pictures of them being car mechanics.

Samuel was in heaven.

Lillian changed this tire all by herself! We're teaching them young, it's a good skill to have.

Even Jacob tried to change the "fluids."

There was also a construction station with pulleys, blocks, trucks, the whole she-bang. And an art area where Lillian and I made masks. And we can't forget the bubble station. They have it set up so you can pull a bubble over yourself. Once again, no pictures. Hey, when you're chasing three kids around and a husband (haha) you don't have a lot of time for pictures.

There is also a medical station. You can "ride" in an ambulance, learn about the body, prep yourself as a doctor ready for surgery and then perform said surgery.

There is also a huge sandpit designed to look like an archaeological site where you can dig for bones. Or dump sand on each other's head. You know, whatever.

There was also much, much more. Overall it was a fun day and the kids loved it.

 

That Phase!

Jacob can walk. And reach and climb and open things.

Needless to say, we've reached THAT phase. You know the one, where they get into everything?! All you have to do is follow the path of destruction to find the little stinker

At least sometimes he tries to clean up after himself...

 I seriously don't know what I am going to do with this kid!

Ah, Summer

You know those moments when the stars align and everything comes together in one perfect moment? I had one of those moments the other day with the kids and I actually captured it with pictures.

 

Finance: For Kids

Lately, my kid have been asking if they can go to Toys R Us and get some toys. I have no idea where they get this idea. They also ask for toys every time we go to the store. They also think we should go out for ice cream, or sno-cones, or Chik-fil-a or something, pretty much every day.

I told them you have to have money to do those things and they said we did have money and promptly pulled out my debit card from my wallet. Oh brother. I obviously needed to talk to my kids about money.

So, here's what I did:

First, I told them that the debit card only has so much money on it. It's finite, we can't just buy anything we want. I then decided to explain to them what money is and how we get it.

Lesson #1: What is money? I read a couple of books to them, my favorite was All About Money by Erin Roberson. I pulled out change and we went over how much a penny, nickel, dime, quarter and a dollar are worth. Samuel, who is especially fond of all things numbers and math really soaked up this part.

Lesson #2: Where does money come from? I explained that there are two main ways you can get money. A gift: like birthday money. Work: you have to earn it. When Daddy goes to work every day he is earning money so we can pay for all we have.

Lesson #3: What do we spend money on? I explained that we have to pay for certain items first before we can buy fun things like toys. We have to pay for our house, car, food and bills. I then did a little activity with them. I put together a bag that had different items in it, I put play food in it like bread and apples and also french fries and cake, phones, a picture of a house, a regular car, a fancy hot wheels race car, iPad, books, etc. I then wrote on two pieces of paper "Wants" and "Needs." The kids took turns pulling items from the bag and then putting them in the wants pile or the needs pile. We explained to them how healthy food like apples are a need but going out for french fries is a want. They really caught on with this activity.

Lesson #4: Where should their money go to? I explained how Mommy and Daddy take care of all their needs so when they earn and/or receive money we expect them to put it in their piggy banks for savings. If there is a special toy they really want they can save up their money for it, but they still need to put some of their money aside in savings. We also explained tithing at this point.

Lesson #5: How money works. For this concept I read books to show them how you earn and save money. My two favorite that really explained the concepts were: Making Cents by Elizabeth Keeler Robinson and Sluggers Car Wash by Stuart J. Murphy.

At this point we had gone to Toys R Us and I had taken pictures of some of the toys they wanted and the price tags. I also found this sweet Build-A-Brain kit at the library with play money in it.

Lesson #6: You can't have everything you want. I gave them the play money and then told them to choose one of the toys from the pictures. I explained how Lilly could get two toys because her toys were cheaper than Samuel's. I also told them they had to calculate sales tax into their total. They didn't really get the tax thing, but they did get the concept of money and would count out how much they needed.

I did all this over a period of a couple of weeks spending 5-10 minutes on each lesson. I also explain to them about how we spend our money. When we are grocery shopping and they ask for a toy instead of saying "no, we don't have the money" I say "we need to spend our money on groceries so we can eat." They really do understand it much better than I supposed.

I've also started to give them choices so they understand every time we spend our money on one thing it means we can't buy another. For example, I tell them they can pick out one treat from the store or they can buy a Lunchable, but we can't do both. When they ask to go out for ice cream I remind them that that costs money and instead we can make cookies with the items we have in the kitchen. I've realized that if I stop to explain my reasoning behind things they understand and go along with my decisions much better. (Let it be known though that I don't always do this and sometimes no is no, I don't have to explain myself because I am the mother).

We then implemented chores and an allowance system. They've always had chores but no allowance. We agreed on terms together and explained to them that there are certain things they have to do because they are part of a family and they don't get paid for those things. All in all it's proven to be a success.

One more book I liked: The Kids' Money Book by Jamie Kyle McGillian.

Idaho and Back

My sister moved to Rexburg to attend BYU-I. Have I mentioned that? Well she moved there and last week there was a flood in Rexburg and her apartment ended up in four feet of water. She had floating furniture and everything. She was not home at the time and everyone is safe, but not their things. My Mom and I packed up my grandparent's car and drove two days to get to her. She and her five roommates were living in filth. Literally. The apartments had moved them into an empty unit, but dumped all their stuff in a pile that the roommates were sort of going through. But not really, unless it included clothes.

And so I visited my birthplace for the first time since my parents moved when I was two weeks old. And I spent it cleaning dishes, going through flooded-moldy things, packing boxes, and practically dragging my sister to her finals. I spent it stressed to the max because I had left all three kids behind with my husband for the first time ever, because I was inexpressibly tired, because I am no longer twenty and stay up all night socializing. Come to think of it, I didn't exactly do that when I was twenty.

I also spent it drinking in the fresh mountain air, soaking up the view of the temple just a short walk away, sleeping without any kids climbing into my bed, enjoying the generosity of my friend's in-laws, and getting to know my sister and my mom that much better.

Sure, I've been playing catch-up for the past few days. I've been cleaning, regulating ornery children, returning library books, throwing away spoiled food in the fridge, cooking, and getting the house back into order. I have to add here that Carlin cleaned the kitchen before I came home and he HATES cleaning the kitchen but he knew it would make a less-stressed Aubrey. It did and I love him for it.

Jacob keeps trying to eat an old hot dog out of the trash and Samuel and Lillian got into a fight over a puzzle which resulted in a bloody nose for Samuel. I don't wish to be back in Idaho though, because I learned a few things about myself:

1. My Mom and sister have a relationship that I will never have with them and I'm slightly jealous, but I love them and I think they know it.
2. I missed Carlin like crazy. It felt like I had left a piece of me behind, I was seriously incomplete. This both scares and thrills me.
3. I LOVE being a Mom. I love my kids and the craziness they bring to my life. I will take bloody noses and poopy diapers any day over roommate drama.
4. I'm still that independent, self-sufficient girl (even with #'s 2 and 3). I managed to get myself, my Mom and my sister back to Oklahoma. I might have been turned around a bit in Rexburg, but I can still read a map.
5. Lastly, I miss the mountains. So, I've decided I am moving my family to Colorado. You're welcome to join me.

A few thoughts on Motherhood

If you're not interested in reading about all the sordid details of Motherhood then stop here, because I have a few thoughts jumbling around in my head that I would like to share. I've been reading articles and seeing discussions on Facebook lately (occasionally I get sucked into the black-hole that is Facebook) about motherhood and wow! There is a lot out there and it seems to be a major battle being fought between women right now.  I try to remain blissfully ignorant of it all because Motherhood is hard enough without the thousands of opinions of women out there, not to mention the media portrayals and experts who think their way is the best way. So, here is my two cents to add to the barrage of opinions out there.

First to new Moms and Moms of one child: You might feel judged, especially by those of us with more than one kid. But the truth is, we aren't judging you. At least no more than you are judging us. We might look at your over-prepared diaper bag and chuckle to ourselves a bit or listen to how you've conquered bed-time and say "ah, that's cute." It might feel like we are laughing at you, but what we are really doing is remembering our first time through having a baby too. Remember how your world was literally turned upside-down after you had your baby? Labor and delivery wasn't anything you pictured, you were worried about the number of times your baby pooped each day, you were sleep-deprived and you were trying to figure out the whole nursing thing while your friends and family gathered around you and the baby. Not to mention the acute pain of post-partum recovery, the fact you hadn't showered in days and how you have to re-learn how to do everything with a baby in hand. And I mean everything - from navigating the grocery store to cleaning your house.

Remember that?

Well, here's the real truth: It that happens EVERY time you have a child. In some ways it really, truly is much easier because you kind of know what to expect this time. But really, delivery doesn't go the exact same way, you might get clogged-milk ducts this time or your second won't latch properly, the sleep deprivation is there again, but this time you can't sleep when the baby sleeps because you have a second child running around. And once again you have to re-learn how to do everything - this time with two or three or six kids. This time instead of being worried whether or not you packed the diaper bag you are worried about which kid to put in the car first and how to hold a baby carrier with one hand and keep your toddler from running through the parking lot with the other hand. So, one worry replaces another one and the cycle continues.

We aren't laughing at you, if anything we are a little jealous that you can sit there and hold your baby and not worry about what your toddler is getting into in the next room.

Second, to working moms versus stay-home moms. Can we all agree that being a Mom is hard? It doesn't matter if you work or don't work, you still have to be a Mom. But here are a few thoughts from a stay-home Mom: We are literally with our kids for 24 hours a day 7 days a week. We don't get a break, we don't get to come home from the office and kick off our shoes and play with our kids. So, when we ask to have a girls night we don't want our children involved - because quite frankly we've had enough of them. That might sound harsh, but it's true. I admire the women who work and be a Mom - it takes a lot of courage, strength and energy. A LOT of energy. The thing is whether you are working or not, all of us feel like we fall short at the end of the day. Working-moms might wish they had more time with their kids and stay-home Moms wish they could have less time with their kids and we both feel guilty for those things. Can we all agree to not push our guilt on the other person and instead just offer love and support?

Third, discipline. Discipline is hard and everyone has an opinion and everyone will tell you what to do or that you are doing it wrong. You have to figure out what you and your spouse are comfortable with - if the cry-it-out technique at bedtime leaves you in tears and makes you feel like the worse person EVER, then don't do it. However, do remember that there will be times you have to make a tough decision and stick with it. The key is consistency. Whatever parenting-style you choose you have to be consistent with your children, otherwise they will know they can push the boundaries. 



Lastly, you have to learn to laugh. Laughing is the only way to get through it. My oldest is six now and everyone tells me it gets better but I'm still not quite convinced. The thing is I've learned to laugh. My kids do crazy things - and I mean crazy. They dump flour all over the floor, stick toys in their mouth, wonder how gravity works by throwing things off the stairs, fight with each other, pick-on each other, and push my patience as far as they possibly can. Laughing is how I get through it all. Sometimes the laughter doesn't come until much later, but eventually it does come. I can beat myself up thinking I'm the worse parent in the world because my daughter thought it was fun to play with her poop while potty-training, or I can laugh at the pure looks of disgust people give me when a story is told. Also, comes the looks of relief I get from other parents when they realize their children aren't that weird after all, at some point every child plays with poop.

Summer Adventures: Mt Scott

We've been keeping ourselves busy this summer, exploring the natural beauty of Oklahoma. For Memorial Day we went to Chickasaw National Recreation area and hiked around the Little Niagras (which was bone dry), explored Buffalo Springs (also dry), found Lost Cave Falls (also dry), and looked for a woodpecker.

There were no pictures from that outing. But then we went to the Wichita Mountain Wildlife Refuge and there we found a true hidden gem of Oklahoma.

That says 2,465.3 feet. Officially a mountain. :)

First, we drove to the top of Mt. Scott. Yep, drove. To the very top.

And then played around on the rocks and let the kids explore. And let me tell you, they LOVED it. Samuel was so excited to be on top of a mountain.

They thought they were on top of the world!

Lilly doing a plie. And despite what it looks like, Samuel was not falling off the side of the mountain.

Then we drove into the refuge itself. We found tons of wildlife. Longhorn cattle, lizards, birds, and groundhogs.

The kids loved the groundhogs.

This was one of my favorite lizards we found.

We hiked up to the Jed Johnson Tower. It was a mile total - perfect for our little hikers and the first real hike we've really taken them on.

Overall it was a fun trip that the kids still talk about. We have a big ol' list of other places we want to explore including Robber's Cave and the Great Salt Plains.