Finance: For Kids

Lately, my kid have been asking if they can go to Toys R Us and get some toys. I have no idea where they get this idea. They also ask for toys every time we go to the store. They also think we should go out for ice cream, or sno-cones, or Chik-fil-a or something, pretty much every day.

I told them you have to have money to do those things and they said we did have money and promptly pulled out my debit card from my wallet. Oh brother. I obviously needed to talk to my kids about money.

So, here's what I did:

First, I told them that the debit card only has so much money on it. It's finite, we can't just buy anything we want. I then decided to explain to them what money is and how we get it.

Lesson #1: What is money? I read a couple of books to them, my favorite was All About Money by Erin Roberson. I pulled out change and we went over how much a penny, nickel, dime, quarter and a dollar are worth. Samuel, who is especially fond of all things numbers and math really soaked up this part.

Lesson #2: Where does money come from? I explained that there are two main ways you can get money. A gift: like birthday money. Work: you have to earn it. When Daddy goes to work every day he is earning money so we can pay for all we have.

Lesson #3: What do we spend money on? I explained that we have to pay for certain items first before we can buy fun things like toys. We have to pay for our house, car, food and bills. I then did a little activity with them. I put together a bag that had different items in it, I put play food in it like bread and apples and also french fries and cake, phones, a picture of a house, a regular car, a fancy hot wheels race car, iPad, books, etc. I then wrote on two pieces of paper "Wants" and "Needs." The kids took turns pulling items from the bag and then putting them in the wants pile or the needs pile. We explained to them how healthy food like apples are a need but going out for french fries is a want. They really caught on with this activity.

Lesson #4: Where should their money go to? I explained how Mommy and Daddy take care of all their needs so when they earn and/or receive money we expect them to put it in their piggy banks for savings. If there is a special toy they really want they can save up their money for it, but they still need to put some of their money aside in savings. We also explained tithing at this point.

Lesson #5: How money works. For this concept I read books to show them how you earn and save money. My two favorite that really explained the concepts were: Making Cents by Elizabeth Keeler Robinson and Sluggers Car Wash by Stuart J. Murphy.

At this point we had gone to Toys R Us and I had taken pictures of some of the toys they wanted and the price tags. I also found this sweet Build-A-Brain kit at the library with play money in it.

Lesson #6: You can't have everything you want. I gave them the play money and then told them to choose one of the toys from the pictures. I explained how Lilly could get two toys because her toys were cheaper than Samuel's. I also told them they had to calculate sales tax into their total. They didn't really get the tax thing, but they did get the concept of money and would count out how much they needed.

I did all this over a period of a couple of weeks spending 5-10 minutes on each lesson. I also explain to them about how we spend our money. When we are grocery shopping and they ask for a toy instead of saying "no, we don't have the money" I say "we need to spend our money on groceries so we can eat." They really do understand it much better than I supposed.

I've also started to give them choices so they understand every time we spend our money on one thing it means we can't buy another. For example, I tell them they can pick out one treat from the store or they can buy a Lunchable, but we can't do both. When they ask to go out for ice cream I remind them that that costs money and instead we can make cookies with the items we have in the kitchen. I've realized that if I stop to explain my reasoning behind things they understand and go along with my decisions much better. (Let it be known though that I don't always do this and sometimes no is no, I don't have to explain myself because I am the mother).

We then implemented chores and an allowance system. They've always had chores but no allowance. We agreed on terms together and explained to them that there are certain things they have to do because they are part of a family and they don't get paid for those things. All in all it's proven to be a success.

One more book I liked: The Kids' Money Book by Jamie Kyle McGillian.

Idaho and Back

My sister moved to Rexburg to attend BYU-I. Have I mentioned that? Well she moved there and last week there was a flood in Rexburg and her apartment ended up in four feet of water. She had floating furniture and everything. She was not home at the time and everyone is safe, but not their things. My Mom and I packed up my grandparent's car and drove two days to get to her. She and her five roommates were living in filth. Literally. The apartments had moved them into an empty unit, but dumped all their stuff in a pile that the roommates were sort of going through. But not really, unless it included clothes.

And so I visited my birthplace for the first time since my parents moved when I was two weeks old. And I spent it cleaning dishes, going through flooded-moldy things, packing boxes, and practically dragging my sister to her finals. I spent it stressed to the max because I had left all three kids behind with my husband for the first time ever, because I was inexpressibly tired, because I am no longer twenty and stay up all night socializing. Come to think of it, I didn't exactly do that when I was twenty.

I also spent it drinking in the fresh mountain air, soaking up the view of the temple just a short walk away, sleeping without any kids climbing into my bed, enjoying the generosity of my friend's in-laws, and getting to know my sister and my mom that much better.

Sure, I've been playing catch-up for the past few days. I've been cleaning, regulating ornery children, returning library books, throwing away spoiled food in the fridge, cooking, and getting the house back into order. I have to add here that Carlin cleaned the kitchen before I came home and he HATES cleaning the kitchen but he knew it would make a less-stressed Aubrey. It did and I love him for it.

Jacob keeps trying to eat an old hot dog out of the trash and Samuel and Lillian got into a fight over a puzzle which resulted in a bloody nose for Samuel. I don't wish to be back in Idaho though, because I learned a few things about myself:

1. My Mom and sister have a relationship that I will never have with them and I'm slightly jealous, but I love them and I think they know it.
2. I missed Carlin like crazy. It felt like I had left a piece of me behind, I was seriously incomplete. This both scares and thrills me.
3. I LOVE being a Mom. I love my kids and the craziness they bring to my life. I will take bloody noses and poopy diapers any day over roommate drama.
4. I'm still that independent, self-sufficient girl (even with #'s 2 and 3). I managed to get myself, my Mom and my sister back to Oklahoma. I might have been turned around a bit in Rexburg, but I can still read a map.
5. Lastly, I miss the mountains. So, I've decided I am moving my family to Colorado. You're welcome to join me.

A few thoughts on Motherhood

If you're not interested in reading about all the sordid details of Motherhood then stop here, because I have a few thoughts jumbling around in my head that I would like to share. I've been reading articles and seeing discussions on Facebook lately (occasionally I get sucked into the black-hole that is Facebook) about motherhood and wow! There is a lot out there and it seems to be a major battle being fought between women right now.  I try to remain blissfully ignorant of it all because Motherhood is hard enough without the thousands of opinions of women out there, not to mention the media portrayals and experts who think their way is the best way. So, here is my two cents to add to the barrage of opinions out there.

First to new Moms and Moms of one child: You might feel judged, especially by those of us with more than one kid. But the truth is, we aren't judging you. At least no more than you are judging us. We might look at your over-prepared diaper bag and chuckle to ourselves a bit or listen to how you've conquered bed-time and say "ah, that's cute." It might feel like we are laughing at you, but what we are really doing is remembering our first time through having a baby too. Remember how your world was literally turned upside-down after you had your baby? Labor and delivery wasn't anything you pictured, you were worried about the number of times your baby pooped each day, you were sleep-deprived and you were trying to figure out the whole nursing thing while your friends and family gathered around you and the baby. Not to mention the acute pain of post-partum recovery, the fact you hadn't showered in days and how you have to re-learn how to do everything with a baby in hand. And I mean everything - from navigating the grocery store to cleaning your house.

Remember that?

Well, here's the real truth: It that happens EVERY time you have a child. In some ways it really, truly is much easier because you kind of know what to expect this time. But really, delivery doesn't go the exact same way, you might get clogged-milk ducts this time or your second won't latch properly, the sleep deprivation is there again, but this time you can't sleep when the baby sleeps because you have a second child running around. And once again you have to re-learn how to do everything - this time with two or three or six kids. This time instead of being worried whether or not you packed the diaper bag you are worried about which kid to put in the car first and how to hold a baby carrier with one hand and keep your toddler from running through the parking lot with the other hand. So, one worry replaces another one and the cycle continues.

We aren't laughing at you, if anything we are a little jealous that you can sit there and hold your baby and not worry about what your toddler is getting into in the next room.

Second, to working moms versus stay-home moms. Can we all agree that being a Mom is hard? It doesn't matter if you work or don't work, you still have to be a Mom. But here are a few thoughts from a stay-home Mom: We are literally with our kids for 24 hours a day 7 days a week. We don't get a break, we don't get to come home from the office and kick off our shoes and play with our kids. So, when we ask to have a girls night we don't want our children involved - because quite frankly we've had enough of them. That might sound harsh, but it's true. I admire the women who work and be a Mom - it takes a lot of courage, strength and energy. A LOT of energy. The thing is whether you are working or not, all of us feel like we fall short at the end of the day. Working-moms might wish they had more time with their kids and stay-home Moms wish they could have less time with their kids and we both feel guilty for those things. Can we all agree to not push our guilt on the other person and instead just offer love and support?

Third, discipline. Discipline is hard and everyone has an opinion and everyone will tell you what to do or that you are doing it wrong. You have to figure out what you and your spouse are comfortable with - if the cry-it-out technique at bedtime leaves you in tears and makes you feel like the worse person EVER, then don't do it. However, do remember that there will be times you have to make a tough decision and stick with it. The key is consistency. Whatever parenting-style you choose you have to be consistent with your children, otherwise they will know they can push the boundaries. 



Lastly, you have to learn to laugh. Laughing is the only way to get through it. My oldest is six now and everyone tells me it gets better but I'm still not quite convinced. The thing is I've learned to laugh. My kids do crazy things - and I mean crazy. They dump flour all over the floor, stick toys in their mouth, wonder how gravity works by throwing things off the stairs, fight with each other, pick-on each other, and push my patience as far as they possibly can. Laughing is how I get through it all. Sometimes the laughter doesn't come until much later, but eventually it does come. I can beat myself up thinking I'm the worse parent in the world because my daughter thought it was fun to play with her poop while potty-training, or I can laugh at the pure looks of disgust people give me when a story is told. Also, comes the looks of relief I get from other parents when they realize their children aren't that weird after all, at some point every child plays with poop.

Summer Adventures: Mt Scott

We've been keeping ourselves busy this summer, exploring the natural beauty of Oklahoma. For Memorial Day we went to Chickasaw National Recreation area and hiked around the Little Niagras (which was bone dry), explored Buffalo Springs (also dry), found Lost Cave Falls (also dry), and looked for a woodpecker.

There were no pictures from that outing. But then we went to the Wichita Mountain Wildlife Refuge and there we found a true hidden gem of Oklahoma.

That says 2,465.3 feet. Officially a mountain. :)

First, we drove to the top of Mt. Scott. Yep, drove. To the very top.

And then played around on the rocks and let the kids explore. And let me tell you, they LOVED it. Samuel was so excited to be on top of a mountain.

They thought they were on top of the world!

Lilly doing a plie. And despite what it looks like, Samuel was not falling off the side of the mountain.

Then we drove into the refuge itself. We found tons of wildlife. Longhorn cattle, lizards, birds, and groundhogs.

The kids loved the groundhogs.

This was one of my favorite lizards we found.

We hiked up to the Jed Johnson Tower. It was a mile total - perfect for our little hikers and the first real hike we've really taken them on.

Overall it was a fun trip that the kids still talk about. We have a big ol' list of other places we want to explore including Robber's Cave and the Great Salt Plains.

Firsts

We (and by we I mean my SIL Samantha) also cut Jacob's hair for the first time. Ever. I might have cried.

 He's just so grown-up looking now.

It was a weekend of firsts for us last week. Lillian had her first ballet recital. Not only was it my first ballet recital but I somehow managed to be a dressing room Mom for seven 3-4 year olds. Let's just say someone else can volunteer next year. Ha!

Aunt Heather, Uncle Mitchell and Grandma & Grandpa H. came. (Never got a picture with my Mom and Dad - really, we were lucky to get the pictures we did).

Samuel also got a haircut this past weekend...

Samuel came too and did surprisingly well, was just as patient (if not more so) than my parents. :)

I kind of like being a dance-Mom, although my competitive nature is coming out...

Jacob is 1!

Jacob turned 1 last week!  I know, I can't believe it either.

We had extended family party first at a park.

Jacob loved it.

Especially the cake.

On his actual birthday we had a quiet family dinner with all of his favorite finger foods: chicken nuggets, strawberries, mac & cheese...

And of course, a small cake to top it off.

Samuel wouldn't give me a nice picture to save his life, so this is the best I got of them.

Happy Birthday to my little Jacob. You are such a precious little boy who makes the world a better place just by being here. I love you.

Picture Day

Our Stake Primary put on a Temple Day for primary families. It was a wonderful event and an opportunity to show our children the temple. We took advantage of being there and took some much needed pictures of the kids, because we all know how great I am at taking pictures (not!).

My beautiful family - all together.

Doesn't it look like I have twins? People ask me all the time.

I couldn't help it, I had to add two pictures of mister Samuel. I just love the top picture.

Miss Lillian in all of her shoeless glory. Shoes do not stay on for very long with her, even though she loves shoes and has more than I do. (P.S. I seriously can't get over how gorgeous this kid is!)

Ah - this is kid is just so dag-gone cute.

And here are a few more of my favorite pics. 

I had to put this one in here because it just captures my boys and all their silliness.

And lest you think we take nothing but great pictures... here's how most of the pictures turned out:

My kids... in their true forms.