Wrong Number

A couple of years ago I changed my phone number. As soon as it was connected I started receiving phone calls for a Jaime. There were calls following up on requests for more education. I would tell them wrong number. Then there were the bill collectors. They were a little more aggressive not taking the "wrong number" response.

"This is so-and-so from collections, and we show you have an outstanding balance." "I'm sorry, I believe you have the wrong number." "Am I speaking to Jaime?" "No, you have the wrong number." "What is your name?" "Aubrey" "Could you leave a message for Jamie?" "I do not know any Jaimes." "Are you sure?"

Needless to say, they weren't quite convinced I was not Jaime. They kept calling at different times hoping to catch me off guard I guess. But the weirdest calls by far came from strange men, and let me tell you, there were a LOT of them. One of the strangest sounded eerily like my Uncle Ed. It came in rather late one night and he told me to just come on back to his room when I got there... When I explained to him I was not Jaime he hooted and apologized in a good-ol' boy fashion and told me to have a good night.

The calls finally started to peeter out, but I still get happy birthday texts when it's not my birthday and random phone calls and texts. I mostly ignore them. However, the other day I got a phone call at about 5:40am. I answered it to only have the person on the other end hang-up. Carlin mumbled "who was that?" and I said it must have been a drunk dial. Then I received the following text:

5:42am: Zorry who this
I  ignored it.
5:44am: What's yours name
I responded with the following:
5:48am: I'm an irate mother of three young children whom you just woke-up from a rather nice sleep and now it sounds like my baby is awake. I'm assuming I'm not the person you are looking for so please leave me alone. And use proper grammar and punctuation next time.
I thought that would be the end of it and started to fall back to sleep, then:
5:54am: You married

Seriously?! He didn't use proper grammar or punctuation so I didn't dignify him with a response. There is only one natural conclusion concerning this Jaime person - she was a student who racked up a bunch of debt. She panicked and entered the field of prostitution hoping to pay her debts down faster. Realizing that that may not have been the best idea she then canceled her phone and severed all contact with her past life and is hopefully trying to start anew somewhere else.